If you have ever been around kids – as a parent, a nanny, an uncle, a random stranger passing by a playground – I’m willing to bet that you have uttered the words, “be careful!” at some point. It is a phrase that transcends generations and cultures and is based in our reasonable desire to preserve the human race.
While “be careful” is reasonable, it can definitely be overused. I’ll never forget the day that an older gentleman at the playground – unknown to my daughter and me – held up an open palm and yelled “No! You’ll hurt yourself!” to my 3-year-old. She was poised at the top of a tall slide on a new playground, ready to go down head first. I had been observing her for weeks as she built up the confidence to go down slides in this manner (she was terrified of slides for the first 2.5 years of life, but that’s a post for another day). And in a split second, I saw her questioning her decision as she stared uneasily at this man. I kindly told him “she’s got this” and then reassured her that if her body felt safe sliding that way, then she was okay. So she did it!
On the flip side, supporting kids’ natural inclination to take chances with their play has many benefits.
1. Risky play builds confidence.
Many kids are naturally curious and have little issue with taking risks. Some kids are more reserved, which is fine too. But all kids benefit from structured freedom to take risks in their play. As adults, it’s our job to observe both our child and the environment in which they’re playing to make sure we account for actual danger (extreme heights, sharp objects, snakes). But we also need to acknowledge when something may be risky but not truly dangerous and allow space for our kids to find those edges.
2. Risky play builds gross motor skills.
Risky play usually involves something like jumping, climbing, running, or balancing, making it a great for building those big muscle groups, strengthening joints, and increasing core strength. Make sure your kid has some good shoes that support their bodies (watch out for slippery bottoms, flip flops with no ankle support, and holes or latches that could get caught).
3. Risky play strengthens mutual trust.
As kids explore and take risks, they learn to trust themselves, you learn to trust them, and they witness you giving them that trust. It’s a win-win-win for all.
4. Risky play builds self-awareness.
When they’re given an opportunity to find the boundaries of what their bodies are capable of, kids learn about their balance, their breath, their muscles, their base of support, their grasp. They begin to lean into understanding gut feelings (“I’m just not comfortable being this high.”). If it seems like your child lacks all awareness, and they’re less than 4 years old, just give them time. If they’re 4 or older and still seem to not understand their bodies, it’s possible that their brain isn’t getting the right signal from their muscles, which could mean they have difficulty with sensory skills like proprioception (an understanding of where your body is in space).
5. Risky play improves academic skills.
Yes, I went there. Trust, confidence, self-awareness, and gross motor skills are foundational skills for kids to excel in any learning environment. Their risky play may not seem like it is directly related to math or reading, but I promise you it will help them do those things too. Risky play can build skills such a spatial reasoning, hand eye coordination and other visual motor skills, memory, focus, and the ability to fail and try again.
Examples of Risky Play
* Carrying heavy objects like rocks, logs, weighted balls
* Climbing trees, playground equipment, couches, countertops
* Balancing on unsteady objects
* Jumping on trampolines, jumping from heights
* Playing in potentially dirty water, sand, dirt
* Running and moving fast in otherwise slow environments
* Messy and slippery activities involving mud, ice, water
* Playing in nature with plants, animals, bugs
How to Assess Risk
Adults often have a difficult time with the idea of “risky play” because we all have such different definitions of risk. Questions I often get from parents include things like:
– “Can I let them climb as high as they want to as long as they’re comfortable?”
– “At what point should I intervene?”
– “Will they get injured?”
– “How do I deal with my own discomfort around risk taking?”
As an OT, I take a balanced approach to risky play (hence the name of this blog!) to account for the fact that there ARE real risks in life and in acknowledgment of different skills and abilities. ER doctors, pediatricians, and orthopedic specialists say that some of the most common childhood injuries happen on trampolines or when falling from high playground equipment (usually slides and monkey bars) or bunk beds.
Trampolines are dangerous when there are multiple jumpers of different sizes. “Double bouncing” can cause injuries such as tibial fractures (one of the bones of the lower leg) in kids. This bone can also be broken when young children go down a slide while riding on someone’s lap. Their legs can get stuck on the side of the slide while the bigger person’s body continues to slide down.
Fractures of the elbow happen when kids fall from beds and monkey bars and catch themselves with out-stretched arms. More serious injuries such as concussions, traumatic brain injuries, or internal injuries can happen from falls of greater heights, or when children fall and hit other objects on the way down, like in a tree or on playground equipment.
All playgrounds should have an age rating, typically posted on a sign that says for children 2-5 years old or for children 5-12 years old. While kids of all ages may use this equipment interchangeably, it is up to you as the adult to provide close supervision and assess your own child’s abilities. According to the American National Standards Institute, “lack of supervision is associated with 40% of playground injuries” (read more here).Setting boundaries such as only allowing similarly sized children on a trampoline at once or redirecting to playground equipment that is more appropriately sized for your child are reasonable and does not discourage risky play.
If you find that you’re nervous when your kid is playing, ask yourself if what they’re doing is truly dangerous. If it’s not, then dig a bit deeper – what actually makes you nervous? Challenge yourself to pause, breathe, say nothing, and just observe. Kids often surprise us with how well they can understand and listen to their bodies. Remember that one way children learn to trust themselves AND to trust adults is by being allowed to play in a risky way.
What to Say to Kids When It’s Just Too Dangerous
Remember that it’s your responsibility as the adult to do the risk assessment, not your kid’s. I’m always a big fan of keeping things age-appropriate. Here are some examples of what to say to your child:
Younger than 2 – you might not say anything at all. Take them to places and spaces that are appropriately sized for their bodies. If you can’t, then be accessible to them and provide supervision without saying a lot. “I’m right here with you!” “I can’t let you climb on this, but you CAN climb over here.” Avoid saying too much or placing the blame on them for trying to do something that’s just too dangerous. They’re learning and building self-awareness in this stage and they NEED your guidance.
3-4 years old– At this age, they can better understand why something might be dangerous. They have likely built more self-awareness, but will also benefit from your input. “This is very high, I need to stay at the bottom while you climb.” “
5+ years old – This is the perfect age to begin collaborating with your child, if you haven’t already. Ask them what THEY think about the safety of an activity. “What’s your plan for when you get up there?” “Where will you go next?”
Do Disabilities Change Risky Play?
ALL children need risky play. The only thing that may look different with regard to a disabled child is the risk assessments that you do as the adult. Meet your child where they are and observe their unique skills and weaknesses. Having a disability won’t stop them from playing and it certainly won’t stop them from taking risks (kids’ brains are hard-wired to seek out the edges of boundaries after all). The best thing you can do as an adult is to say as little as possible and let the kids play!
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